CHAD KACKERT – ARGOS STRENGTH & CONDITIONING COACH
PREFACE: Chad Kackert suffered an ankle injury prior to the 2013 Eastern Final against the Hamilton Tiger-Cats and was forced into early retirement. After rehabbing his injury, Kackert pursued a return to the team and signed a practice roster contract in late September of 2014. Days later, Kackert suffered a leg injury in practice, ending his potential 2014 return. Shortly after, Kackert wrote this piece about overcoming adversity.
——-
Adversity
It was love that persuaded Elizabeth to leave her home in Texas to be with Luke in LA. Love, the closest experience to heaven this earth can offer. Love, a universal experience that breaks barriers of language, class, and time. Love, the muse of humanity’s most beautiful creations, and yet, its most debilitating afflictions. Luke and Elizabeth shared this gift with each other, and in a time when their future together seemed certain, tragedy befell them. Luke recounts the incident in an interview with The Art House of America…
“On November 5, 2006 a hit-and-run driver struck us both as we crossed a street in Hollywood. We were in the crosswalk when Elizabeth’s heel came out of her shoe. I picked her up and put her over my shoulder as the car plowed through the red light, hitting both of us. She left this earth instantly, while I miraculously survived. I would live on to experience my living nightmare and, in-turn, lose my faith. “
Reflect for a moment. When life dealt you a losing hand, when you faced something you couldn’t understand, when you experienced an unbearable pain, what did people tell you? I’ve heard it too many times… “Everything happens for a reason.” Sure, they all mean well when they say it, but it’s a cliché encouragement that is empty. If you disagree with me, which most of you probably do, keep reflecting. Did hearing that make you feel any better? Was it the emotional morphine you needed? Did it epiphanically reveal all the answers you were searching for? Did it bring that person you lost back? Did it bring your job back? Did it heal your wounds? “Everything happens for a reason” is empty because it’s not a solution and you don’t know what the damn reason is.
You may have heard another cliché, “happiness is a choice.” Tell that to Luke. Sit at his bedside with him in the hospital while he’s drugged to stay alive. Drugged to numb the pain of his broken limbs, ribs, busted organs, and lacerated and shredded skin. Tell that to Luke while those pain killers bring no relief, because drugs won’t numb or heal his broken heart.
Happiness is a choice? Please. Explain how it could be so simple. Does it take time? Focusing on your blessings rather than your misfortunes? Good friends? Giving back? Not thinking about yourself? I actually asked someone who said this to me. Their response, “Self Worth.” Maybe. Maybe it’s a bit of everything. I found the solution to “Happiness is a choice” in the statement itself. It’s the word “choice”. Choice requires a decision and a decision requires action.
You may not have a choice of why things happen, but you have a choice of how to respond. You can choose to be a victim, writhing in your pain, frustrated in your misunderstanding, ignoring your faults, cursing God, or placing blame anywhere but yourself. I assure you, if this is your response you will find more questions than answers and experience more pain than happiness.
Or, you can choose to act. Happiness requires action, but what is happiness? Your definition of happiness may be different than mine, but have you really thought about it? Do you define it only by the moments of joy in your life? By the moments of comfort? By the moments when worry is void? My belief is that it can be appreciated in any circumstance, painful or not, with a little bit of foresight. My definition is what follows…
“Happiness isn’t comfort. It’s the opposite. Comfort is deceit. The moment you believe you’ve earned a break, the freedom to let your guard down and stop, you become vulnerable to failure.
Happiness is not comfort.
Happiness is in courage. Happiness is in fortitude. Happiness is the ability to overcome adversity. Happiness is knowing you can face fear and conquer it.
Happiness isn’t the ability to fill your mind and body with intoxicants whenever you want. Happiness isn’t the lack of work or abundance of free time. Happiness is in the pursuit.
Happiness isn’t knowing you have a beautiful and wonderful wife. Happiness is making certain your wife knows she is loved by the best man you can be.
Happiness isn’t living perfectly. Perfection is for the immortal and the pursuit of fools. Happiness is knowing how to right your wrongs when you’ve made them.
Happiness isn’t fulfilling your societal obligation to fit the mold. Happiness is in creating your own flavor of individuality that you and your loved ones can appreciate.
Happiness is in virtue.
Happiness is discovered when your efforts are rewarded with accomplished goals, peace, individuality, reciprocated love, and the perseverance to maintain the ever-challenging course.
Happiness is for anyone who can breathe in life and exhale more of it.”
The paradox of happiness is that it can’t be appreciated without tragedy, and you won’t be prepared to deal with tragedy without previously facing it. Think of muscle fiber breaking down under loads it’s unfamiliar with. Provide the body with healthy nutrients before and after the “adversity” and it not only repairs, it becomes stronger. But that strength is not obtained without soreness. Deal with that soreness with care and when the load gets even heavier, you’ll be prepared.
Similarly, when you were young, you cried when you scraped your knee or you were hungry. You learned from that as you experienced it. You learned that scrapes heal if cared for and you learned how to acquire food for yourself. The same goes for each new adversity you will face. You may cry or grieve, but you possess the attributes to overcome them. With virtue as your “nutrients” (Patience. Humility. Temperance. Prudence. Justice. Fortitude. Faith. Hope. Forgiveness. Love.), you will keep calm when disaster exposes it’s threatening grin and smile back with confidence.
In the film “Charlie Wilson’s War,” during a celebration at Charlie’s apartment, Gust pulls Charlie aside to the balcony to tell him a story about a boy and a Zen Master. At this point in the film the Soviets have surrendered after the Afghan Rebels shot down over 400 Soviet aircrafts with Stinger anti-aircraft missiles that were covertly supplied by the USA. It was the Texas Congressman’s initiative to shoot down the choppers, which required him to increase the funding for operations in the Middle East from $5 million to $500 million, matched by Saudi Arabia. There’s plenty reason to celebrate, but Gust warns Charlie not to celebrate just yet with this story…
“A boy in a village was given a horse for his birthday. Everyone in the village says, “How wonderful. The boy got a horse.” The Zen Master says, “We’ll see.”
Two years later, the boy falls off the horse and breaks his leg. Everyone in the village says, “How terrible.” The Zen Master says, “We’ll see.”
Then, a war breaks out and all the young men have to go out and fight, except the boy can’t because his leg’s all messed up. Everyone in the village says, “How wonderful.” The Zen Master says, “We’ll see.”
Gust was telling Charlie that just getting the Soviets out wasn’t enough. They needed to build roads, schools, an economy… hope. This never passed congress. In Afghanistan, where half of the population was under 14 years old, there was no education to inform them of the covert allies they had in the U.S. Who should have been an ally to the U.S. in the future, became an enemy.
Consider what the U.S. did for Afghanistan as the boy getting the horse. “How wonderful.” But like the boy falling off the horse, the U.S. wasn’t diligent in following through. “How terrible.“ Charlie Wilson later said, “These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world… and then we f***ed up the endgame.” When all is well, adversity can sneak up on you. Be diligent with your character, especially when life is in order.
Now consider the story of Luke and Elizabeth. Luke goes on without his love, living with the ever-pressing question, why? What reason is there in this? “How terrible.” I know Luke personally. He was a man I respected when I was just a boy and he’s still a friend I admire. He faced great pains, even welcomed death in his recovery room, because it was the only conceivable chance at seeing her again. He said he lost his faith, but he continued.
“Through God’s grace He showed me how real He was, and further gave me hope that while Elizabeth’s life here is done, her story isn’t over.”
Luke remains a man that exhibits joy, gives love, and actively waits with faith for whatever is in store for him. He inspires and brings smiles to anyone he crosses paths with, even those who don’t know his story. And more, her passing brought a community together, inspired the successful Elizabeth Toon Charities, and rather than people cursing God, her story continues to strengthen the faith of many. And everyone in the village said, “How wonderful.”
If you desire a life that is full, a life with respectable character, experience, and joy, understand that it is not without trying times that they are obtained. Know that it is just as dangerous to be overconfident as it is to be overwhelmed. When you face adversity or experience happiness, embrace it. When you are content, be weary that there are no peaks without valleys. When you are hurting, acknowledge that it will be difficult, but promise yourself that your future will be bright as the result. Have faith. In that, you can calmly say to yourself, “Everything happens for a reason.”
——–